At night sometimes you lie there and consider how strange it is to feel the same way you did years ago when you were lost and bewildered and felt like you were never going to grow up. That was something other people seemed to do but it didn't seem to be your lot. Because you were so fragile and so full of hope, while everyone else seemed so cynical beyond their years, so sure that it was all a crock of shit, that faith and hope were for weaklings, mama's boys, losers. But you knew that if you lay there long enough the words would come to you, even if only from somewhere inside yourself, but clear enough that you knew they weren't your creation alone.
"It's OK, everything's going to be OK."
And you knew that it would be. And you know that it is.
About Me
- Kevin McReaf
- I'm a writer. I have some talent but it's like pulling teeth to get it out. Unfortunately, I've had zero aptitude for everything else I've ever done, so it's not like I have much choice. I was a shitty truck driver (accidents). I was a shitty TV production guy (fell asleep in the edit room). I was a shitty water cooler repo man (I let people keep their coolers because I felt sorry for them - unless their dogs tried to bite me). I was a shitty SAT prep instructor ("You're not seriously telling me you don't understand this shit, are you?"). Etc. The list goes on and on. So many jobs, so much incompetence. Making people laugh is like crack to me. It's better than, or at least as good as, sex. In fact I often think of funny things while having sex but I tend to keep it to myself. My ideal woman, or man as far as that goes, would be someone who would enjoy laughing with me while we're fucking. So far, no go.
1 comment:
It can be OK. You will make it be OK. Optimism, idealism, they are not shortcomings. They are a form of courage.
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