I'm a writer. I have some talent but it's like pulling teeth to get it out. Unfortunately, I've had zero aptitude for everything else I've ever done, so it's not like I have much choice.
I was a shitty truck driver (accidents). I was a shitty TV production guy (fell asleep in the edit room). I was a shitty water cooler repo man (I let people keep their coolers because I felt sorry for them - unless their dogs tried to bite me). I was a shitty SAT prep instructor ("You're not seriously telling me you don't understand this shit, are you?"). Etc. The list goes on and on. So many jobs, so much incompetence.
Making people laugh is like crack to me. It's better than, or at least as good as, sex. In fact I often think of funny things while having sex but I tend to keep it to myself. My ideal woman, or man as far as that goes, would be someone who would enjoy laughing with me while we're fucking. So far, no go.
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